10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Mom
Motherhood is messy, magical, and full of surprises. Here’s the real, unfiltered list of 10 things I wish I knew before becoming a mom—no sugarcoating, just the truth.
If motherhood had a tagline, it would be: “Nothing goes as planned, but somehow it’s all worth it.”
My story of becoming a mother started different than most. I was 20 & my boyfriend (now husband of 6yrs) was only 23. We had no idea what we were doing or how to be “parents” but knew we loved each other and wanted to take this huge step in our lives. We had met in high school and started dating my senior year. That was 15 years ago and our oldest is now 11.
Motherhood is this wild, beautiful mix of chaos, laughter, and googling “is my baby supposed to make that noise?” at 2 a.m. So, if you’re a first-time mom or just curious about what it’s really like, here are 10 things I wish I knew before becoming a mom—the unfiltered version.
Sleep Deprivation Is Basically a Sport
You think you know tired… until you’re running on 45-minute stretches of sleep and still somehow functioning like a semi-responsible adult. Coffee becomes a food group. Dry shampoo becomes your new BFF. But here’s the thing—you adjust. You learn how to thrive on less, and those sleepless nights won’t last forever (though they’ll feel like it at 3 a.m.).
“Doing It All” Is a Myth
Before motherhood, I pictured myself effortlessly juggling a spotless house, cute outfits, and home-cooked meals. Reality? Some days, my biggest win is changing out of pajamas… into cleaner pajamas. And that’s okay. Motherhood isn’t about doing it all—it’s about doing what matters most in the moment.
Postpartum Recovery Is No Joke
Listen, no one talks enough about what happens after the baby arrives. The hair loss, the soreness, the emotional rollercoaster—postpartum is real. Be kind to yourself. Healing takes time, and there’s zero shame in asking for help (or wearing those mesh hospital underwear for longer than expected… trust me, they’re magic). Now on our fourth kid I realize it’s not just that first year give yourself the first three.
Mom Guilt Shows Up Uninvited
No matter what you do, that little voice will pop up: Am I doing enough? Am I a good mom? Here’s the truth: you’re already doing an amazing job. Mom guilt is just background noise—mute it and keep going.
Your Relationship Will Get a Reality Check
Between sleepless nights and baby chaos, even the strongest couples feel the shift. But if you make time for small moments—a 10-minute chat, a shared laugh over how exhausted you are—it can make your bond even stronger.
Asking for Help Is a Power Move
“Supermom is a myth, and trying to be her will burn you out. Let your mom, best friend, or neighbor drop off food or hold the baby so you can shower. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak—it makes you wise. “
Your Priorities Will Flip Upside Down
Remember when you used to stress about brunch reservations or last-minute vacations? Now, your biggest thrill is a solo Target run. And you know what? It’s a beautiful shift. You’ll realize how little you need to feel fulfilled—sometimes, it’s just a quiet moment and a warm cup of coffee (that you actually get to drink).
It’s Okay to Miss the Old You…
Motherhood is a total identity shift, and it’s normal to miss the freedom and flexibility of your pre-baby life. Missing your old self doesn’t make you a bad mom—it makes you human.
Every Baby (and Mom) Is Different
Comparing yourself to other moms or babies is a one-way ticket to stressville. What worked for someone else may not work for you, and that’s perfectly fine. Your journey is yours alone—trust it.
You’re Stronger Than You Think
Motherhood will test you, but it will also reveal this fierce, unstoppable version of yourself you didn’t know existed. From surviving sleepless nights to finding patience on days you didn’t think you had it, you’ll constantly surprise yourself. remember: you don’t need to be perfect—you just need to be present.